Fall has always felt like an ending to me and I don't like endings.
Oh, but the Fall colors? Dead leaves.
The hunting trips? Death.
The harvest season? Death.
Halloween? Day of the Dead
As ranchers, we do our best to facilitate the natural cycle of life, death, seasons and change. And as mothers we do our best to prepare our children for loss, celebration and change. I attended a funeral yesterday and in the sentiments of the widow, herself a mother and rancher, there was a call to grieve out loud and also to live out loud. And so there this is out loud. In the end of this season I feel loss of faith, trust, community, handshakes, music, empathy, war and money. Some losses feel like a weight and the only thing helping me keep my head and that extra weight above water is the living that is out loud too. The life in words, laughter, kindness, food, growth, ideas, work,
questions and love.
There is death that sustains our life whether it is a beast, bug or root. It is an uncomfortable truth that can shape our intentions if we let it. Maybe by accepting that there are endings we can make each drop of sweat, tears and blood be not in vain.
In my ending, please let them say that I left things better than I found them and that I too left better than I was found. That would be enough and if I am striving for anything in this life it is to feel the satisfaction of enough.
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