EAT WHAT YOU LOVE

I would eat a horse over a llama, a duck over a chicken, a beetle over a fly and I would rather eat my favorite cow or the fairest of the white tail queens, than that high-headed-fence-jumper who forced my hand into roping her, and calling her a bad name, before loading in the trailer for the sale. I want to eat animals that I love and respect (and also ones that have a discerning palate and stick mostly to the veggies during their life, rest easy raccoons and my dog pack). 

“Which of the creatures from the animal kingdom would you or would you not eat and why?” This is how I tried to begin a casual conversation with a stranger because I am horrendously, some might say admirably, bad at small talk. This question was on my mind because I think a lot about the animal populations that have gone unmanaged and how they are affecting the land in a detrimentally negative way and also, how voting decides the fates of these animals whether the voters have ever seen one or not. We, the homosapiens, are obviously the worst of the unmanaged and because we are at the top of the food change, having domesticated many of our favorite animals, while forcing others into fenced in landscapes, I think we are responsible for their well being and governance. Part of the deal, when you are the tip top of the killing kingdom, is killing, and sometimes, eating, or otherwise not wasting, the other animals. 

Recently on a trip to Washington DC, where I heard several people say, “this is where it all happens,” I beheld the building that houses The Bureau of Land Management  and that of the US Forest Service too. The buildings are massive and beautifully designed and constructed, it is truly breathtaking. I couldn’t help but wonder if the people placed in the little boxes within had ever stepped on top of wild horse shit in the middle of some cracking desert landscape or had the hackles on their back raised by the sound of a wolf howl. Had any of them been chased up a rope by some old rangey cow on her last hoorah? Perhaps. It must be hard to make decisions about the land and its wild occupants from such a clean and boxy place. I also wondered if they had eaten lunch or if they had plans for dinner. 

We  had an incredible dinner, later that night, at a place that served kimchi with their collards and hot peppers with their bread and butter. I crossed my ankles, used white linen to dob at the fallen crumbs and didn’t try to talk with my mouth full. I strongly endorse keeping your mouth closed while there is food in it. I would even encourage using that time to think about why your mouth is full. Meat comes from animals that were cared for, or hunted by, a human, who was driven to the endlessly hard work required in taking care of that animal before its death and your plate, by love. They are driven by all the heartbeats. This is assuming your plate came out of a kitchen or restaurant where people gave a damn and purchased their meat from an actual landscape and not a lab or a factory. The southern-fried-asian-fusion-several sizes of forks-place we were at certainly did care and we took our time to digest. 

The way we have chosen to categorize the animals under our watch is pickling to me. There are the insignificant ones, the ones we will consume, the ones we will fight for and all of the ones we put in zoos. Tell me why you would not eat a horse? Do you not feel that way about a pig? What is the passion that gets inflamed when discussions of hunting wolves or bears come up? Think of how many bugs that have been murdered with vehicles, shoes, poisons and the harvesting of fruits, grains and vegetables. Ants taste like lemon and grasshoppers are sort of sweet and I have heard that spiders taste like fried potatoes. It is all protein. Mostly, I know that people love to categorize and don’t want to have a connection with the food they are eating, especially meat. That is why we shape things into dino nuggets and market beef with idyllic barn images and Dad’s grilling in the backyard, instead of, let’s say, a dead cow. 

I remember being at a cattle show once as a kid and there was a picture, a big one, just like you see at funerals, propped up on an easel, in front of the buffet line. It was of the cow we were about to ask for in medium or rare. It was a bit much, but it said something too. Here lies Bethel, she died so that we may live, thanks B, we honor you by not pretending. I know that my existence carries consequences for others. Many things die so that I may live. So, I live as well as I can and I never talk with my mouth full. I eat animals that I love and honestly, I think other people should too.